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Seven Principles of A Conflict Resolution
Posted by Shyle
on
9:57 PM
in
Teaching
Conflicts are inevitable. All people in his world experience them. Strong people are attacked by them but weak people are infected by them.
I, as a teacher, experienced conflicts not to my administrators even once but to my colleagues. I am doing my job well and because of that my superiors are proud of me. However, some unprofessional-minded teachers misinterpreted my doings and got envy with the favors offered to me. During my leisure hours, I stopped and reflect “ Where was I wrong?”. Since I cannot answer my own question with my own ideas, I read many books but the book entitled “I Love You” authored by Gordon O. Martinborough made me guided. I read And learned Seven Principles of Conflict Resolution.
1. Urgency. This means that if we have conflicts to other people we won’t let them unattended because they are like weeds. The longer they are left unattended, the faster they grow, and sooner or later, we face a forest. Conflicts are like termites. Unattended and unnoticed, they gnaw at the vital fabric of any relationship. Therefore issues should be confronted and resolved as quickly as possible. According to the book of Ephesians 4:26,27, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold”.
2. Bifocals. Every problem has two sides like a coin. But some individuals tend to see the matter from his or her side only. Each views the problem from his or her limited perspective, forgetful of the past that neither of them is encompassing the whole truth. In order for each to see the viewpoint of the other, there must be meaningful dialogue. Open communication is crucial to conflict resolution. Each must be willing to talk and each must be ready to listen. If this interaction is to be productive, we must express not only the facts of the matter but also our feelings towards the matter. Even more we need to listen to the expression of those inner feelings.
3. Altruism. At the very heart of conflict resolution is the altruistic principle of putting others first not ourselves. Apostle Roman said (Romans 15:1-3) “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please ourselves. So having listened to each other and having understood, the challenge is to put other desires above one’s own.
4. Action Plan. With an altruistic outlook co-workers should agree with a plan of action wherein all idea should be listed and examined and a decision made on the options that best meet the needs if both parties.
5. Golden Words. One vital aspect of conflict resolution is the experience of forgiveness. It involves the request for pardon, the granting of pardon and the acceptance of forgiveness. Uttering the three golden words, “I am sorry”, enriches any relationship. If its added with the silver words, “Please forgive me”, relationship’s “riches” multiply. When a colleague asks for pardon, it should be granted freely.
6.Optimism. Each of us should be optimistic. We must believe that success is possible and expect it. If we expect failure, our expectation will not be realized. But if we expect success, we are likely to realize it, because consciously and unconsciously, we will contribute to transforming, that expectation into realization In Matthew 17:20, Jesus made a fantastic statement about conflict resolution, “ I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed… nothing will be impossible for you”.
7. The Prince. The final secret for resolving conflict is the presence of our mighty savior” Jesus”. He doesn’t only save sinners but also to our relationship to other people. his ability to save is limitless, for He is mighty to save.(Isaiah 63:1) Regardless of what damage a relationship has experienced, the savior is able to bring healing, for He is able to save to the uttermost. (Hebrews 7:25).
If we will have only efforts to resolve conflicts by following the above mentioned principles which was cited from the book “ I Love You”, storms in any relationship will be still. The barriers of peace and the dividing wall will be destroyed.
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I, as a teacher, experienced conflicts not to my administrators even once but to my colleagues. I am doing my job well and because of that my superiors are proud of me. However, some unprofessional-minded teachers misinterpreted my doings and got envy with the favors offered to me. During my leisure hours, I stopped and reflect “ Where was I wrong?”. Since I cannot answer my own question with my own ideas, I read many books but the book entitled “I Love You” authored by Gordon O. Martinborough made me guided. I read And learned Seven Principles of Conflict Resolution.
1. Urgency. This means that if we have conflicts to other people we won’t let them unattended because they are like weeds. The longer they are left unattended, the faster they grow, and sooner or later, we face a forest. Conflicts are like termites. Unattended and unnoticed, they gnaw at the vital fabric of any relationship. Therefore issues should be confronted and resolved as quickly as possible. According to the book of Ephesians 4:26,27, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold”.
2. Bifocals. Every problem has two sides like a coin. But some individuals tend to see the matter from his or her side only. Each views the problem from his or her limited perspective, forgetful of the past that neither of them is encompassing the whole truth. In order for each to see the viewpoint of the other, there must be meaningful dialogue. Open communication is crucial to conflict resolution. Each must be willing to talk and each must be ready to listen. If this interaction is to be productive, we must express not only the facts of the matter but also our feelings towards the matter. Even more we need to listen to the expression of those inner feelings.
3. Altruism. At the very heart of conflict resolution is the altruistic principle of putting others first not ourselves. Apostle Roman said (Romans 15:1-3) “We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even Christ did not please ourselves. So having listened to each other and having understood, the challenge is to put other desires above one’s own.
4. Action Plan. With an altruistic outlook co-workers should agree with a plan of action wherein all idea should be listed and examined and a decision made on the options that best meet the needs if both parties.
5. Golden Words. One vital aspect of conflict resolution is the experience of forgiveness. It involves the request for pardon, the granting of pardon and the acceptance of forgiveness. Uttering the three golden words, “I am sorry”, enriches any relationship. If its added with the silver words, “Please forgive me”, relationship’s “riches” multiply. When a colleague asks for pardon, it should be granted freely.
6.Optimism. Each of us should be optimistic. We must believe that success is possible and expect it. If we expect failure, our expectation will not be realized. But if we expect success, we are likely to realize it, because consciously and unconsciously, we will contribute to transforming, that expectation into realization In Matthew 17:20, Jesus made a fantastic statement about conflict resolution, “ I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed… nothing will be impossible for you”.
7. The Prince. The final secret for resolving conflict is the presence of our mighty savior” Jesus”. He doesn’t only save sinners but also to our relationship to other people. his ability to save is limitless, for He is mighty to save.(Isaiah 63:1) Regardless of what damage a relationship has experienced, the savior is able to bring healing, for He is able to save to the uttermost. (Hebrews 7:25).
If we will have only efforts to resolve conflicts by following the above mentioned principles which was cited from the book “ I Love You”, storms in any relationship will be still. The barriers of peace and the dividing wall will be destroyed.
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